"Ah, little prince! So it was, gradually that I came to understand your melancholy little life! For a long time your only pleasure had been to watch the gently setting sun."

I haven't exactly been updating everyday, which yes, I feel is unfair for my poor little journal. In fact, yes, before I probably grew up and was mature, there were so many thoughts that I left out. Sometimes, writing can be like a religion. You only turn to it when the chips are down. Lately, anyway, of course I've been worrying about my identity and my shortcomings. A lack of initiative, determination in some respects. I'd like to think things have improved over my years in junior college, and indeed, that have a little. Yet also I realise that I am also not half as spontaneous or fun-loving as I would like to be...probably because the year is drawing to a close and I lose the enthusiasm I always have at the start of the year.

And lately I have been confused. What do I want? I read in the news about this girl who succeeded by writing what she wanted on a piece of paper. Well, I wish I was that clear. There is such a bewildering array of choices out there. Do I wait for an illusory temptress to tempt me out, or someone spontaneous to sweep me away? (why do I sound like a girl. Will I find someone whom I find can understand me well? Or, have I in my vain hope in the future, unfortunately overlook the friends I already have who are all perfect in their own little way. Anyway, today was quite a classic case of Monday Blues. Little short shower at the start of the day, and of course, I asked for an OCP because i felt I couldn't trudge through another day of school. So I met Clarence, and we went off to Tanglin Mall to study. I had McDonalds, which proceeded to make me feel shitty for the rest of the day, because I've heard they try to upset your stomach so you leave quickly. Rumin was there too, always nice to talk to, although I was being very quite anyway. Three is a horrible number to be out in, especially if like me, you aren't good at conversing two people at once. So one is always left out. It's different in a larger group or on a one to one basis.