have stopped writing for a while now. so many reasons. loss of momentum. thoughts piled up therefore not knowing where to start. lack of external stimuli. and the internal stimuli always seems to be the same old shit. too much noise, no time. nothing is new. and i feel i've become such a bad writer anyway.

and so the search for change and something new. to throw self into friends even though intimacy is short in coming. to discover other forms of expression. but i'm getting tired of the search. have pockets of time. need to start somewhere again and feel that this helps.

and when i do this, not for people to read. just a place to lock stuff away so you can use for listening. start from small things, train the muscles again.