terrace chants always make me laugh. why i go to the football and i love the train ride back on the west coast main line... the train travels through the spine of england's footballing heartland picking up people from liverpool to birmingham, and there's a lot of banter on the train.

"He's big!
He's Red!
His feet stick out the bed!
Peter Crouch!
Peter Crouch!"

"Shall we sing a song for you? Shall we sing a song for you!"
"Ssshhhhhhh"
"Who the fucking hell are you? Who the fucking hell are you!"
"Are you Derby in disguise? Are you Derby in disguise!"

We don't carry bottles,
We don't carry lead,
We only carry hatchets,
To bury in your head,
We are the supporters,
Fanatics every one,
We all hate Man City,
And Leeds and Everton,
We are the kings of Europe,
The pride of Merseyside,
We'll fight for no surrender,
We'll fight for Shankly's pride,
We hate Tottenham Hotspur,
We hate Chelsea too,
But most of all we hate the sh*te,
Who play in royal blue.

1-0 down
2-1 up
Michael Owen won the cup
With a top class Paddy pass gave the lad the ball
Poor old arsenal won fuck all

"Shall we build a stand for you! Shall we build a stand for you?"
Preston North End fans to Blackpool

"Sven, Sven wherever you may be,
you are the pride of Man City,
you can shag my wife on our settee,
if we win a cup at Wem-ber-lee."

"you're shit, and you know you are!" tune: Go West

Who ate all the pies?
The burgers and the fries
You fat bastard,
You fat bastard,
You ate all the pies! - overweight footballers