And here it is.

"And here, here it is. This is where I make wrong things right."
"Look, Mother, I make all things new!"

hahahahahaha. you know. i'll cry over the littlest things, but it's as if showing them will just vindicate everything that's wrong about it.

a few starters. i don't mean to always try to fudge things and make them sound less important than they seem nowadays, but you understand it. i mean, i can take it even if you say stupid things about me, i mean, i can't, because it damn well affects me, , or even if i say stupid things by myself, but there is a distinct difference to the world. like i'm some cheap moronic bastard that only cares about my immediate welfare over the next 24 hours.

1. Condoleeza Rice. I am not a supporter of the Bush administration, but I must say Ms Rice's performance while being grilled over security lapses sounds like politics, but you should have seen how stoic and steady she was, assuredly defending herself and her administration, when Bush just as well left her to the dogs. Point 1. Take the good and learn.

2. Bill Clinton. The bastard lied about his affair. "No, I never had sexual relations with that woman." Amidst the maelstorm, he did conduct his daily duties with consumnate professionalism and one thing I have learnt from him is if you're in the wrong, just shut up. That moment where he just stood still and stared differentiated him from someone who would grovel to save his own character from phillistines who would never get it. yes he cheated on his wife. Point 2. Take the good and learn.

3. Ted Hughes. There's a movie now that ends with Plath dying. Plath, who wrote little vignettes, sonnets and aubades as a child, was the typical whirlwind, flying into life and love in a typically haphazard pattern. (she bit hughes the first time they met.) and Hughes saw in her, at least, a precocious intellect, and himself he was rather accomplished. then he cheated on her and she lapsed from misery to misery, ending her palpitating life inhaling oven gas in the dreary london clime, having made sure to put towels in the doors protect young Frieda and Nicholas. And all the feminists were up in arms, pillorying Hughes as the traditional male infidel, unfaithful, self-centered. Yet who consumed who. He dealt with it in most metaphorical terms, if not avoiding it altogether. Before he died, he managed to get "Birthday Letters" out, a loving record of responses to Plath's own poems, and also leaving one for his dignity (he couldn't really stand it anymore you see.). It was, "They have fed your mother to the dogs." Damn right they have.

4. Oh and Dogville when Vera started throwing the glass figures one by one. "If you can demonstrate stoicism to me, perhaps I'll just stop at 2". And oh how she tried.

4. Jesus Christ, drawing a line in the sand.

It's all this. That dignity can resist hurt just a little. That by being stupidly proud and quiet, you keep whatever you have left in reserve, someday, for the right people. There are always people. Being a cynic, you would say purity and innocence are that. Not really, it's there, just that often the well doesn't run deep enough for grace float away from hurt.

You see, nobody has to understand. It would be nice to have it, but you have no right to demand it.