my god. i spent my weekend playing soccer again and going to camden. sounds familiar? and then of course promptly lying on my bed complaining of fatigue. of course i had an excuse, because crystal came over from oxford, and i was supposed to buy something for my sister anyway, and... what's wrong with liking the food and drink in camden! and hot mulled wine...

and not doing my essay. i think my bad mood coincides with whenever i have an essay due. yes, cause i'm trying to be diverse i borrow tons of books. which is great cause then you don't know when to start. when you do you end up having a disorganised mess which has all the bits you like but are unnecessary, and not enough of the essential bits. oh but don't worry. come 6 hours before the deadline i'll be at my most ruthless. cut cut cut. oh this letter from the s'pore high com is not going to help my mood. it's a bit vague right now but basically i guess it means: problem with passport extension application. why? i don't know. because i guess the official renunciation letter i have is actually unofficial and i need to promise to give them the official one. all this paper. how is one to know? and hanging in the balance all my holiday plans, some of which have already been paid up.

and guilt. oh the guilt. you're not studying hard enough. and when you do. god, why all this studying anyway. it's going to count for naught. must... slay... demons.

i am unhappy. i like the cold. but it is very cold. it is about 2 degrees, and i can never get over the fact my breath leaves vapour trails. yes! "so swaku". wait till it freezes your ass off. oh but london has mild winters. no. i will still walk to school. nothing will force me to the bus. but already i am eating in subway instead of walking and eating in the same time, because i'm always trying to find an excuse to duck into a place with a heater now. but i guess because i'm always so fantastically underdressed because i don't want to feel puffy. i am a ball of contradiction. i need things to go for me for once. and that includes question 5 of my bleeding stats tutorial.

god. now that i cleared the mess of the problem up i will attempt stabbing into it again. for gods sakes. please.