the thing is that i do play myself in a certain role, or i see myself in it, without other people necessarily seeing me in the same way, a bit of a solipsistic world view(not narcissistic, i hope.) we find ourselves crying at movies, at the intensely hurt lead, seeing ourselves in that position, wanting to hurt ourselves too, to achieve a dramatic vision.
smoking sucks, or it's supposed to anyway, as so many people have been harping upon it. but sometimes it really can be glam on screen. it's a sign of a devil-may-care attitude, i've had so much suffering anyway and all...oh i don't know.