through some fault of my own again i'm somehow awake now. when i got up to check the time i suddenly had an impulse which i haven't had for a long time just to call someone and hoping that talking would somehow make time passable, considering i do not wish to start on another series of questions or play some stupid game that would make me sleep.

and i realised that it's wishful thinking. not that nobody's there for you. just that's it's not very much and anyone would kill you for waking them at 5 to talk about nothing, whether or not they deeply care for you or not. just some thoughts.