all hail naughty people!

had a great conversation tonight. i've never really looked at a younger replica of me run around. no lah, i'm exaggerating, but it's honestly really amusing to see that someone does think (by think i don't mean opinions) but i mean undergoes similar cognitive processes that you do. you know this by displaying a conclusion, and then independently verify that one reaches that conclusion using the same reasoning/intuition.

maybe that's why some people can feel like mentoring.

anyway, naughty people. one of the topics that came up was hwa chong and jennifer tan, discipline mistress. wah, must give it to her. very fierce. but also very naughty when young (if you talk to her about her life story). when i hear about some of her fearless exploits i am in deep admiration of her. to call up a fierce parent and then ask them questions about their decisions is kind of feckless, in a way, but it does show a great honesty/naivete. very good teacher. but i wonder how much that counts in life. maybe if she was not naughty she might have become very rich and successful. but, i think she knows how the naughty kids think.

i want to help naughty people, not because i'm very naughty myself. worked with them in jc and i really loved it. i think i used to be naughty for a period of time, and i do recall fondly what i was thinking, what i wanted to achieve or not achieve with my actions. i used to love infuriating people who were overly prescriptive. now when i see someone naughty i wish i had their fire... naughty people sometimes are selfish but i think most of the time it comes from overestimating their impact on the world, (misplaced?) social indignation.
i felt all this stuff before, and i feel it's a kind of power. it keeps you alert and stops you from stepping into traps people make for you, or from hurting you. and sometimes they do make an impact.

very interesting that people indeed do feel the same as i do. that dealing with people is tiring, but they learn to do so because of some external motivation, stimulus. then they read the books, they learn how to behave like other people, or to act their role well. then they go back, and they're tired, so they sleep. so if it's worth the investment for you, then do it.

dear god. thank you for teaching me how to write. it is the one big thing that keeps me from dying slowly, day by day. this is my MOST therapeutic activity, ever. also sorry that i don't use my talents to communicate properly with others. maybe i should. i'll get back to you when i've found it, just like now i've found my constituency.

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