maybe tonight

i was spacing out and listening to some bands at the lse quad tonight (and people here do like the strokes don't they?)... and enjoying the music, and i thought...

i haven't thought for a really long time. no i mean, we always are, but...

i know i'm going to get my heart broken, especially here, here in london. i really do. i think i know i doubt myself too much to doubt that somethings going to piss on my parade some day, even when everythings happy and hazy and sounds noisy.

maybe it's the chilly weather, or the rain falling as i'm fucking walking back at midnight. but i loved that, it was a drizzle! no i think it's because i know acutely what and who i am at certain points, and sometimes i just believe that i'll only ever fall in love with people who'll break my heart, or that i over-inflate academic expectations of myself, or refuse to accept that yes, at times i am happiest when i am alone. no, but these are all just random and paradoxical musings induced by the cold and street lighting.

so hit me. i'm ready. but for gods sakes make it a nice landing.