last remaining anxiety

as i alluded to in my unposted post, anxiety and stress are needed to drive me to completion on deadline, but anxiety and stress are what worsen my mood the most now.

i believe i am possibly at the last big work-related anxious moment for the next few months. i've completed some case studies, the whole of the first part of the paper, and now i just have to choose 2-3 more to fill up my paper. this last big step is particularly anxious because i've just downloaded all the data. so among 17 choices i have to make 2-3, and i need them to illustrate my point. so, i'm dreading this next step of sifting through everything and then making the choice. hope to finish this phase by the end of today.

then it's just writing to completion, putting all charts and equations in and doing formatting. probably no mean feat, but less wide-ranging thinking and hence anxiety. then it's studying, which i hope is more easily divisible into small tasks and in some sense is more target-oriented, and engages brain in a less lateral way. look forward to this next step, hopefully latest by the end of next week. every week gets better.

and then it's just maybe 8 weeks until the exams? just be cool, take it easy. remember, this exam is less important than many others you've taken in your life. don't put any pressure to achieve this or that, just get the damn degree and come back. anything else is a bonus. then it's summer, marking scripts, and then sooner or later you're back home and dry, exam free, ready for life and love. take a trip somewhere. i just need this strength for the weeks to come. i am due back some joy in my life.

looks better when everything's written down.

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