one person managed to instill the fear of god in me before. i was about 17 or 18, and he had been incessantly needling away on various issues in a rather didactic/moralistic way. one thing he said hit home. he made me so scared that i was taking all my friends for granted. i remember i picked up the phone and called people and told them that i didn't want to take them for granted, which was a surprising admission of vulnerability and guilt, i guess.

feel like that on a night like this. but reconnection is harder, i guess. i don't know how much emotional nudity people can take nowadays.